The Days of “Hows” and “What Ifs”

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By Shannon

February 19, 2020

When I was in college getting my Master’s Degree, I went through a tough year. Most of my friends had returned home after we got our Bachelors degrees so I was left to live on my own for the first time in my life. I lived in a little one bedroom house that had a swing on the front porch. It was cute. But it was lonely. To comfort myself, I immersed my heart in the music of some “new guy” named Steven Curtis Chapman (I’m old) and this amazing Christian rock group known as Petra. I would sit on my swing for hours with the door open and listen to the lyrics of their music. Do you know what I was wondering as I listened? “How in the world could I ever be in ministry like they are?” I would sit and dream and pray for hours.

Secretly, I already knew God was calling my heart to do what I’m doing with my life today, but I thought it was more of “my” dream than His, so a sadness would sometimes come over me. You know, the old pity party.  “God, I know I’m nobody but if there’s any way you could use a nobody like me to just do a little of what they do, I’d be so grateful.” But then I’d get up in defeat, just “knowing” it was all in my head. After all, Momma and Daddy were paying good money to send me to college to be a teacher and counselor. And I liked that too. I would turn the music of Petra back up and dream a little more before I drove myself to class. I was a conflicted because I couldn’t understand how all this could “possibly” fit together.

Well…last night I sat in my office listening to that old CD once more, jamming to those same lyrics as I wrote a radio interview I will conduct next week with the lead singer of…Petra. Lol! As I listened to each song. I went back to that old swing and all the days I wondered “how could you possibly do this God? It doesn’t make sense.”  Next week in Nashville, I will shake hands with, talk to and share my story with the voice behind the music that took me through the days of “hows” and “what if’s.” Pretty awesome.

Maybe you’re facing a situation that doesn’t make sense today. You don’t see how in the world your dream, prayers or deepest desire could ever come to pass.  Psalm 119 reminds us that we’re blessed when we stay on course and walk the path God reveals to us. Don’t give up. If it keeps coming up over and over in your heart, there’s a really good chance it’s not bad pizza. God has a plan just for you. Don’t be afraid to follow Him. It’s why you were created.

  • Shannon Perry is an award-winning author, speaker, TV host, recording artist, and counselor. Her events are described as places where God can move in a powerful way. She shares personal life stories, makes the Bible applicable to every stage of life, and prays for those hurting.

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